Will You Be Bitter or Be Better?!

We all have disappointments in life-whether it’s in a job or an experience or a person…or even in ourselves. But how we handle those disappointments really determines the outcome.

Bitterness brings on a ton of unhealthy emotions and feelings that are hard to let go of, especially after a lot of time has passed. What if we took that same energy and applied to being BETTER instead of BITTER!?

I’m not perfect… never have been and never will be. So don’t misunderstand. I’ve been known to hold grudges sometimes or fail to overlook or even refuse to forgive. But when I focus on being better instead of being bitter, there are so many reasons to celebrate.

Here are my Top 3 favorite ways to be better rather than bitter…

1-Service Above Self: yes, it’s the well-known mantra of Rotary International, of which I am proud to be part of, but it’s also much like a phrase you’ve most likely heard your entire life… the Golden Rule. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Remember the popular definition of character? Doing the right thing even when no one is looking?

That’s what Service Above Self means to me. Like getting up on a rainy Saturday to serve lunch at the local Rescue Mission or volunteering in the hot sun for a Special Needs Baseball game. No matter how depressed or exhausted or angry I felt when I walked in, I felt so much better about life when I walked out.

2-Choose Your Relationships Wisely: The people you associate with on a daily basis speak volumes about your character as a person. Remember your parents telling you nothing good ever happens if you’re out and about at 3am? Or maybe your mom was like mine – “if your friends jumped off a bridge does that mean you would too?” It’s still true today. If you’re seen having lunch every day with those who gossip about your friends or co-workers, you’ll be associated with them and people will assume you’re gossiping too. Maybe that’s a lame example, but you know what I mean…

3-Smile It Off: As in…that Taylor Swift song “shake it off,” except just SMILE it off! A nice, relaxing, pleasant smile can go a long way in diffusing a situation or putting someone at ease. (And to be honest, it can help you “bite your tongue” when you need to also!) For me, it also helps me to “think before I speak” sometimes-and that is a huge help in trying to be better rather than bitter.

What about you? What advice do you have to be better each day and let go of bitterness and resentment?

Take Time To Rest

Like many of you, the week of July 4th was vacation time for us, some “down time” to relax and recharge. Maybe some of you are doing that this week. Take advantage of the opportunity when you get it. I’ll be the first to admit it’s hard for me to slow down. And even on vacation, I worked every single day. But I can do that from my laptop and hey, I still gotta pay the mortgage so….

But when the post office opened on July 6th, I had more than 40 items ready to ship out from my Ebay store that sold while I was on “vacation.”

Vacations are important for a lot of reasons – a chance to spend time with family and friends, visit historical sites, catch up on a book or tv series, or just simply, to rest! And while I always make time to work while I’m away, I also make time to rest. According to many professional sources, relaxation, rest and sleep (I’m still working on that one) are vital factors to not only your physical health, but also your mental health. 

I know many of you are a lot like me – you go, go, go, go…. until you just can’t go anymore!  Then it takes a few days to recover once you give out. I’m trying to do better.

“If you get tired, learn to rest not quit.”

Here’s a website with some great tips for relaxation, rest and even sleep if you need a few ideas, suggestions or just a little encouragement!

Get some rest my friends…I’ll see you soon!

Expiration Dates

A few months ago I noticed one of those little yellow squeeze bottles in the door of my fridge. You know, the ones shaped like lemons and filled with 100% REAL Lemon Juice. Not only could I not remember using it recently, I didn’t even remember buying it!

Upon further inspection, I noticed an expiration date printed on the side. WHOA! Let’s just say I’ve aged a little bit since that lemon juice expired in my refrigerator! YIKES!

I quickly tossed the little squeeze bottle into the trash, shaking my head at myself. I never knew those things even HAD an expiration date. Which got me thinking…well, don’t we all?

Food is an easy one to remember (ok, maybe not for me…), but what about all those other things that expire before we use them? Things like coupons (I don’t know why I save all those fast food ones I get in my mailbox every month! I have NEVER used them before, but maybe one day….maybe??), gift certificates (those make me so mad at myself if I forget to use those!), prescriptions, running shoes (ok let’s be honest…I have never had that problem but I know people who do), and so much more.

What I quickly realized, though, is WE also have an expiration date – people, pets, jobs…But rather than stress out over what our expiration date might be, we should concentrate on what we will do BEFORE that date.

Maybe you’re like me and have a “bucket list” of things you want to see or do one day. But I’m not talking about a bucket list here…I’m talking about personal stuff. Spending time with friends and family…rekindling a strained relationship…losing weight or slowing down or getting healthy.

My bucket list is long and varied. But my list of “things to do before my expiration date” is fairly simple. Love and be loved. Leave this world a little better than I found it.  And quite honestly I have to work on both of those every single day. What about you?

Unfortunately, we aren’t like a bottle of lemon juice – we have no idea what our expiration date may be or what our “shelf life” will be. So don’t you think it’s time to get started on those things that make each day more satisfying?

Put On YOUR Oxygen Mask First!

I was speaking to a group last week about the importance of volunteering – why you should do it and how to get others to volunteer with you (or for you). While preparing my remarks, I stumbled across a package of cups I bought with a friend many years ago that say “Stop me before I volunteer again!”

We can laugh about that because we know it’s funny (even if it is true), but deep down we all know I won’t stop volunteering – neither will you…it’s not “who we are.”  But just remember this – the only way you can continue to give to others is if you take time to care for yourself first.

Remember when the attendant on your last flight reminded you to put YOUR oxygen mask on first before helping someone traveling with you? If you’re like me you always think that’s just a little bit weird…but there’s a reason for it.  Experts tell us if we begin to lose oxygen on a plane, we may become disoriented or even unable to recognize familiar faces. It is imperative that we care for ourselves first in that situation if we expect to be any help at all to those around us.

Life is a lot like that, isn’t it? We are nurturers by trade. We are the “rock” of our family or the “dependable one” in our office or even the “go to” mom in the school. This means when we fail to care for our personal needs, we aren’t the only ones who suffer.

Don’t neglect yourself and your needs. If you’re gasping for breath or barely hanging on, you’re of no use to anyone at all.  There are so many things, even little things, we can do to help ourselves…going to bed earlier, eating healthier, finding some quiet time, even just being honest with ourselves and those around us. (How many times have you said “I’m fine!” when you are far from it??)

Will you join me this summer to commit to doing more for yourself – wait for it – WITHOUT feeling guilty about it!!?? It’s not going to be easy…trust me… but I’ll try if you will.

Because we both deserve it.

Go ahead-put on YOUR oxygen mask. I’ll wait…

Be a “Go-Giver” #40DaysOfGiving

My entire life has been spent as a “go-getter” – climbing a professional or social ladder, working to close the next sale or charitable gift, working on the next goal or accomplishment…and I’ve always been praised for it. And most of the time I’ve even been proud of it.

But a dear friend gave me a book recently, “The Go-Giver” and I realized that what I desire to be is actually a “go-giver.” Don’t misunderstand…I’ve done some nice things along the way on this path I call life, but I’ve spent years trying to prove myself in the corporate world and always trying to please others.  I’ve finally realized it’s not about pleasing others. It’s only about pleasing God.

By being a “go-giver” rather than a “go-getter,” I am doing my part to make the world a better place. My involvement with Rotary is certainly the most obvious way I give back. But not everyone is a “joiner” or part of a 1.2 million member worldwide network (and quite honestly, if you’ve heard me speak, you know I don’t believe everyone should be in Rotary…but that’s another story). But there are literally millions of ways to give back.

During this season of Lent, practice being a “go-giver” – do something nice for someone who needs it…a friend, family member, neighbor or co-worker – or even a stranger. I am certain you’ll be “pleased” with how great it makes you feel to do for others.

This past week I had the opportunity to take a free vacation with friends and business associates. I worked hard to earn the trip, as did everyone else who went, and it was nice to get away. But I am reminded of how many “go-givers” were on this trip with me…the friend who bought me dinner in the airport for no apparent reason (“because I want to,” she said)…the friends who picked me up before sunrise and let me ride with them to the airport so I didn’t have to go alone…friends who went above and beyond for no reason other than because they could!

I’m blessed to have so many “go-givers” in my life. I know you are too! I’ll admit I haven’t started reading the book yet (I’m almost finished with another and this one is next), but I’m already intrigued and looking forward to it.