Nobody Likes A Bully!

The past few weeks have been overwhelmingly emotional for me, for a variety of reasons… my first Mother’s Day without my mom, an elective surgery for my dad, the pressure to increase my professional workload while building a new small business, my innumerable volunteer responsibilities, and a ridiculous encounter with a “friend” that caused me pain and self doubt. And those are only a few…

But what that last experience did for me, though, was remind me of how much I dislike bullies. After the confrontation, I went through many hours of uncontrollable sobbing and fewer hours of sleep. I woke up, looked in the mirror, and didn’t like what I saw. I had bloodshot and puffy eyes, a red nose, huge dark circles and a harsh realization that I was the only person in that “relationship” who was upset. I’m certain the other person didn’t lose sleep or become physically sick from the episode. So why did I?

It was right then and there that I declared “No More.” No more will I succumb to bullies. No more will I let negative people bring me down to their level, ruin my day (or week), or upset me.

By now you’re probably thinking, “yeah, right…you? YOU were bullied?” You betcha…and it wasn’t pretty. Even worse, when I reflected back on the situation, I realized just how many times it’s happened to me just this year!

But here’s the best part…when it happened again the next week (not with the same “friend” – I’m not a masochist!), this time I responded differently. I smiled. Sweetly. (With my lips closed.) I nodded. And then I looked away. I didn’t even reply. And then I moved on.

I wish I could say that’s been my new response every time someone has bullied me or insulted me or even said something stupid or mean recently. It’s not. But I’m definitely getting better at it. One day at a time. I still intend to speak up and defend myself (or those I love) when appropriate (you can’t expect me to never say anything at all, right?), but I will NOT let those people affect my emotions and my personal well-being.

After all, you can’t control how people will treat you. But you can control how you will respond to those people and those negative situations.  Harsh words still hurt. But now I look at them differently. I will not lose sleep over a bully. I will not cry because of a bully. I will not consider myself unworthy because of a bully.

Because I know there are more important things to lose sleep over…like watching a sunrise, directing a friend’s wedding, going to a football game, or even catching an early morning flight. Yeah, I’ll keep losing sleep for those things…

What is love?

Everyone knows what today is (the candy companies, florists and card makers won’t let us forget.) It’s Valentine’s Day.  It’s a day focused on love and hearts. For some, it’s a special night out on the town or a special delivery at the office. For others, it’s a reminder of the pain or loneliness caused by a failed relationship.

How about instead of focusing on the word love, this year let’s focus on the actions of love. Love is not just what you say, it’s what you do.

Checking on an elderly neighbor. Buying breakfast for the car behind you in the drive thru. Saying thank you to a co-worker or classmate. Reminding your loved one to wear their seat belt or text you when they get home. Picking up the dirty laundry. Emptying the dishwasher. Reading a bedtime story to your child.

All of these are acts of love. Too many of my friends (probably yours too) over the years have focused on “the L word” rather than the actions associated with love. We “love” a certain restaurant. We “love” that outfit. We “love” watching our favorite tv show. We’ve all used the word in that way, haven’t we?  Let’s change that this year.

SHOW someone you love them today. And tomorrow. And the next day. I’m certain you’ll get an abundance of love in return.

Let me know how this experiment works for you. I “love” hearing back from you!

It’s NEVER too late!

Ever wish you had started something earlier? (I’m not talking about the laundry! We ALL do that when we’re lugging a heavy basket back to the bedroom after midnight…) I mean earlier in life?  Maybe a college education, your family, a new career, collecting something of value, joining a church or civic group?

I think at one time or another we all wish we had started something earlier. But I’ve learned (the hard way) there’s a reason we didn’t. It wasn’t our time. At that time. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t your time NOW. Today. Or perhaps even tomorrow.

You see friends, it’s never too late. It’s never too late to finish what you started, to start something new, or even to start over. You just have to make the decision to do it. That’s where I am right now. If only I’d started (or actually finished) my book sooner..if I had left the corporate world sooner…if I had joined Rotary sooner…you never know. And you weren’t meant to. Everything happens for a reason. Listen to me…EVERYTHING happens for a reason.

I’ve been tested with that statement more times than you can even imagine, but I hold it as one of my truths in life. Don’t fail this test my friends…remember it’s never too late.

Whether it’s something small and simple or huge and bodacious, start now. Want some help? Share it with me and I will be your cheerleader, accountability partner and honest friend. (I’ll even let you ask me if I’ve finished my book yet……sigh……)

The future starts today…

Like some of you, I had LOTS of time at home alone this past weekend because of the winter storm (did you know it had a name?? Helena…go figure!)  So that meant lots of time to think, reflect, plan and even brainstorm. I made it a productive weekend, in spite of the fact that I didn’t leave my house for three days!

One quote I stumbled upon over the weekend was by Pope John Paul II.  “The future starts today, not tomorrow.” That really spoke to me Saturday and inspired me to make some serious changes in my life. I can’t really share them with you yet, but as soon as they are in place, I will let you all know. It’s gonna be big. EPIC even! I do ask for your prayers as I continue to work through some details.

What will you start today to change tomorrow? I can’t wait to see what 2017 holds for each of us! Thanks for coming along this ride with me.

Oh one more thing… I have a completely new website to share with you – I’ve been working on it for a few months and it’s finally live! Most of you know I am very active in Rotary… so be sure to visit www.rotarygeek.com to learn more about what I do. You’ll also get to meet some of the amazing Rotarians I meet all over the world in my new blog, Rotary Geek Of The Week! Take a look & let me know what you think?

New Year…Better Me!

So many people posting New Year…New Me! (Those are probably the same people who still make – and don’t keep – New Year’s Resolutions!) I have decided it is a new year, time for a BETTER me!

I don’t want a new me. (I kinda like the one I’ve gotten to know for the past 46 years…) But I do want to always be a better me. So this coming year, I’ve decided to work on improvements in my personal and professional life. Working harder AND smarter. Being better than yesterday.

I hope you’re sitting down when you read this, because I have big news. BIG news!  This weekend, I did something most of you will find VERY surprising… I joined a gym! Planet Fitness in fact, that just opened right here in Hendersonville a few weeks ago. I’ve already been for the first time, just to get acquainted and try a few things. (No need rushing into anything and overdo it, right??)

But my goal is to go back. Soon. It’s just one of many ways I plan to be a “better” me rather than a “new” me in 2017. I also want to join a new professional organization, write my first book, blog more, meet more of my online friends (you know who you are) in person, spend quality time with family and friends, finish my new website, and continue to serve humanity through the world’s greatest service organization, Rotary International.

But let’s be clear…these aren’t resolutions that I am going to abandon come mid-February. These are plans of action. If you still make resolutions, I hope yours can be kept. If you set goals, I hope you are realistic but willing to stretch. If you make plans, I hope you outline the steps you must take to finish them.

I’m counting on you all to hold me accountable (“How’s that book coming along, Tiffany?”) and also to help me grow and be better. Stay in touch  – let me know your plans (or goals or resolutions) if you want me to be one of your accountability partners. I’ll add you to my follow-up list.

We can’t do this alone, but together…wow we’re gonna be better than ever!